Sex Life pleasure-and-pain

Published on May 12th, 2011 | by Charlie


The Fine Line Between Pleasure and Pain…

Scientists have long known that the ‘reward’ pathways in our brains are closely linked with experiencing slight pain–or more specifically, the release of that pain. In sex, we’ve known it for a long time as well, which is why pinching, spanking, whipping and teasing are all acts that, while they produce a certain amount of minor physical pain on their own, can be the perfect blend of toe-curling pleasure when introduced in the bedroom between consenting adults. There’s something about that line–the blurred space between pain and pleasure—that has excited and intrigued sexual beings for centuries, and here, we’ve got a tantalising little list of ways in which you can embrace the tradition of pleasurable pain–or painful pleasure. From sex toys that’ll spur you along to cheeky little bedroom antics sure to up the ante, settle in for a read…and then get experimenting!

Spanking and Whipping

The tradition of erotic spanking and whipping goes back into ancient times, and is still rife today, both in the privacy of bedrooms across the world and in spank-loving subcultures that thrive on the act. Spanking can be carried out with an instrument like a paddle or ruler or with a bare flat palm, while whipping usually utilises some form of leather strap. The most common place to spank or whip a partner is on the ass, and there is definitely something about the anticipation, the sudden jolt of nerve-awakening and the control afforded to the person delivering the spanking or whipping that can…for want of a better word…really whip you up into a frenzy! Spanking is a fairly safe and mild form of experiencing pleasurable pain, and is a great way to ease into this kind of playing. Beware of bringing out the whip on a first date without asking however…it may be a turn-off for the uninitiated.

Fire and Ice

The change of sensations from hot to cold is a very sexy thing to experience down under, but many couples like to push these sensations further with extreme heat and cold in the bedroom, such as dripping hot wax on each other’s chests or using ice to an almost unbearable point. If you’re thinking about experimenting with hot wax, make sure you take care of a few housekeeping issues first—don’t leave the candle unattended or next to something it could easily burn down, and don’t test hot wax on genitals…try a less sensitive spot first!


BDSM is an acronym given to a group of activities known as ‘Bondage & Submission’ and ‘Sado-Masochism’. This defines a broad range of sexual practices, which can range from the mild spot of domination to full-on chains, stud and whips, as well as heavy bondage. Your comfort level with BDSM should dictate how far you and your partner push it, but if you’re new to the practice,we recommend a bit of light bondage first. Tie your partner up and take the control for yourself, teasing them all over with vibrators and other sex toys, until the anticipation of pleasure is almost unbearable. From there, you can move onto more involved fantasies, limited only by your imaginations and personal comfort zones.

Pleasure and pain have always been intricately connected. Exploring this connection in a safe, sexy and erotic environment can send your sex life to dizzying heights.

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