Offbeat airplane-bathroom

Published on March 2nd, 2014 | by Charlie

Flying Solo: 6 Tips for Masturbating on a Plane

Sitting high on many an adventurous traveller’s fucket list is joining the Mile High Club. Pulling off such a feat requires an equally adventurous partner and a plan for how to get you and your partner to and from an airplane bathroom without rousing suspicion.

Forget the Mile High Club! It has few real members for a reason, which is why joining the “Mile I Club” is a far more realistic sexual experience to pull off at 32,000 feet.

But how? If you can, choose an aisle seat when you book your ticket so you don’t have to climb over your neighbour when the need arises to relieve your toey-ness.

Pack a discreet sex toy that won’t raise the alarm at the security check, and take advantage of lulls in activity in the cabin so you can pop off to the bathroom and revel in your self pleasure without being disturbed.

Choose an Aisle Seat

If you are fortunate to be flying First or Business Class, then getting in and out of your seat during a flight is really very easy, but if you’re flying cattle class, forgo a window seat and choose an aisle seat, if you can. This way you won’t get imprisoned by a slumbering passenger when your loins stir.

Pack a Discreet Sex Toy

To avoid an embarrassing incident at the airport security check, best you leave you favorite double-headed, 10-inch dildo at home. Instead, you’ll want to pack a toy that is small and if possible wearing a disguise.

For the ladies, there are toys masquerading as USB thumb drives, makeup compacts, and rubber duckies. There is even a clip-like toy that sits genteelly on one’s clit, offering long haul stimulation.

A Fleshlight or Fleshjack is just too big for carry-on luggage. A better option for the globetrotting gent is a Tenga Egg.

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Photo by HK-DMZ via flickr licensed under Creative Commons 2.0

Smuggle a String of Ben Wa Balls On Board

Another option is to smuggle on a string of Ben Wa balls by inserting them in your pussy or arse. Ben Wa balls promise hours of sublime stimulation as these balls turn inside your body.

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Photo by char1iej via flickr licensed under creative commons 2.0

Although genital piercings like PAs and clitoral hood piercings rarely set off airport metal detectors these days, a string of metal Ben Wa balls just might, so consider inserting latex spheres instead.

Don’t Forget to Pack the Lube

 If you’re carrying an insertable toy, a fake pussy, or just want to use your fingers, make sure to pack some lube in your carry-on.

As an international traveller, you are restricted to carrying just 100 ml of liquid in your carry-on bag. If you pack your favourite bottle of lube, it may be confiscated at the security check.

Instead, you should pack two or three sachets of water-based lube.

Dress Appropriately

Wear loose-fitting clothing that is easy to get on and off, and don’t wear any underwear. 

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Photo by AgathaGarcia via Flickr licensed under Creative Commons 2.0

Dressing this way will not only ward off deep vein thrombosis, but as soon as you close the airplane bathroom door, you can quickly get access to the necessary erogenous zones.

Pick the Right Time to Do It

If you travel frequently, you know how at certain times during a flight, there are queues to use the bathrooms.

The best times to visit the bathroom for a little discreet solo action is in between the drinks service and the meal service, or if it’s an overnight flight, when the flight crew turn off the cabin lights.

These lulls in activity allow you to enjoy this time with yourself without some irate passenger banging on the bathroom door because you’re taking too long.

Conclusion

Don’t let a day go by without an orgasm. If you are on a long haul flight and start to feel horny at high altitude, consider taking matters into your own hands. Locking loins with a partner or another amorous passenger is almost impossible. Instead, enjoy some low profile self love onboard your next international flight.

Cover photo by qmnonic via Flickr licensed under Creative Commons 2.0 / Cropped for use on http://risqueboutique.com/blog


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One Response to Flying Solo: 6 Tips for Masturbating on a Plane

  1. Jim says:

    LMAO @ “The Mile-I club” lol. Awesome.

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